things i’ve noticed latley:

1. there is beer in every room of our house.

this means EVERY room. this house permeates with beer, like if this house could sweat, there would be beer comign out of it. we’ve always got beer in the fridge, there’s beer in the bathroom, beer on the porch, beer in the tavern (well, of course) beer in the garage…everywhere. i’m not sure if this is rad or not, but my gut tells me that this is the awesomest awesome ever to awesome, so i’ll go with my gut.

2. i’m getting harrier.

i didn’t know if i just missed puberty or not, but i still couldn’t grow a respectable beard if i let it grow for the rest f the year. i swear i would have to shave every 20 minutes of a day for a week with a dull rusty bic disposable to get that kind of irritation on, then maybe i could do it. but then all of the sudden, i have to shave like once every 4 days, which is getting up there, i sprouted chest hair, and now i’ve noticed that the hair next to my wrists that is thickening, and now on the pinky side on the back of my hand, i’m getting little tufts of hair. what the hell, i start getting all this stuff when i’m 21? isn’t this supposed to happen when i’m like 19 or something? ah well, maybe i’ll be a wolf man by the time i’m 26 with hair all over my back and shoulders and stuff. then i’ll have to take nair baths and what not to reacquire my current level of sexiness.

3. tents are rad.

BAN AND MATT: whip out the smallest tent that you can get or find, and just spend some tiem in there with the gravity. this is a rad way to spend some time, let me tell you. almost as good as a closet and happy hardcore…..almost.

4. cars.

internal combustion engines have gotta be one of the craziest monky inventions that has come along in awhile. i mean, monkies figuring out how to control the atom is impressive and everything, but damn…thiose cars are just damned silly. i almost think that cars have been the largest influence on the spreading of our society in the 20th century. if we couldn’t travel the distances with cars that we could, there’s no way that we could spread the way that we have. there’s not enough supplies in a certain area to support the huge metropolises that we have created without being able to bring things in. and horses and carts just wouldn’t be able to cover the massive quantity that we humans need these days. this country would be nowhere near this big, i mean we would still have trains, but we’re not about to cover this entire country with tracks that goes out to everyone’s house. people would have to live in towns, and there’s only so many people that can be supported by a train stop in a certain area. without cars we wouldn’t be able to move the volumes of things taht we do now, therefore keeping us from spreading the way that we have.. i mean, all that stuff like agriculture, and fire is important and everything but that stuff just allows us to live, not to live with a population of hundred of millions.

5. I’m gettign sick of porn.

i don’t know if i overloaded or something, but i just don’t go on my rounds like i used to. i don’t even feel like downloading movies right now. i just don’t really want to go through all the crap. if there was a page full of links where all i had to do was right click on them and download it, i could do that. but it takes too long to browse through all the usual pages (where there are more than 30) and just download things over and over. i don’t even spend much time on my computer these days, and i just don’t feel like spending my time getting more porn. the fact that i have to sort through my hard drive and clean it up AGAIN cause its full mght also have an effect. but latley, i just don’t care about porn, or even whacking off that much right now. normally, its like clockwork to masterbate before going to bed. but i’ve been blowing it off on more than just one occasion.

GOOD GOD, I’M GONNA BE IMPOTENT, I GOTTA START MASTERBATING 5 TIEMS A DAY, RIGHT NOW!!!

ok, so maybe its not that bad, i mean i still get horny, and masterbation is still great. i just don’t want to spend the time to download the shit.

6. Everyone Mangles.

i swear i should write a book about manglers, and just compile it into one gigantic massive, illustrious, guide to manglers. man, it would take my whole life to make somethign that comprehensive though, because Everyone Mangles. no matter who you are, you are a mangler in one sense or another. mangling is just a fact of life. if you are alive you will mangle. now of course there are different degrees of mangling, but that’s why i need to write a book about it, to educate people about what is a mangler, and what type they are. because soem people just can’t really see how much of a mangler the people around them are. most are even blind to their own manglness. i suppose we all are…but you can at least have a concept of it if not a complete understanding.

Everybody Mangles: A Mangler’s Guide to Mangling in the United States.

that’ll be the title of my book, and i’ll tour the country giving lectures at all the prestigious universities, getting paid as much as bill clinton to talk in various locations, educating the nation that is by far the largest mangling nation in the world. we think we control it all, but basically we’re just mangling like everyone else.

number of times a derivative of mangle was used in those 8 lines: 15

number of times i got distracted by mike while writing this:2

number of tiems sex popped into my head while i was writing this: 0 (is this freakin’ possible?)

number of people who mangled while i wrote this: too numerous to count