well, i don’t have to print anything here in the library (reason i came here) and my bus won’t be here for another 20 minutes, so it’s time to blog.

if you want a good intro to anime, or want to compare and contrast something to it, go see kill bill. not only is it awesome, but it’s pretty much a live action anime. that makes for great entertainment, as far as i’m concerned.

man, i don’t have oppertunities like this very often. i sit down, and can think about anything i want, but i just draw a blank. i’m so busy most of the time that i’m just thinking about what’s next in my day, and if i’m not doing something productive, i’m gonna screw myself for tomrrow.

so school, you have a stranglehold on my life yet again, but now there are work and girlfriend factors to take care of as well (i’m sure i’ve reiterated this a few times) so now i’m busier than ever, but at the same time, i can’t remember being more content. if you don’t have time to reflect on things, and are constantly on the go, then you don’t really have time to think about things that aren’t consequential to accomplishing them.

seems kinda stupid escapisim, really. keep myself busy so i don’t have to worry about anything else. don’t have to worry about others, don’t have to worry about what’s going on in the world. i mean shit, i have no concept of what’s going on outside of my little world right now. i hardly ever watch the news, and haven’t been reading on-line newspapers like i normally do. i’m debating if this makes me an ignorant fool or not. on one hand, i am supposed to know about things that are going on in this world, and should be aware of what’s wrong with the world today, because it could in some way effect my future descisons. on the other hand, i just don’t give a damn. things will happen in the world regardless if i know about them or not and just because i don’t know all the details of the strife between palestine and israel doesn’t mean that i don’t care at all. it just seems like it’s too inane to follow everything. there’s always peace talks, or there’s always another bombing, or there’s GW doing some shit to help things out, or screw it up, or someone spouting off some rhetoric for everyone to care about.

does it really make me selfesh to think that these things are going to have about a .01% effect on whether or not i pass my next test, get all my classes in, graduate on time, work enough to pay my bills, make sure my bike works so i can get places, make sure i spend time with people i have friendship obligations to so i stay sane, make sure i have money for food, etc.

i can DO something that has a direct effect on these situations. i can talk all about the rest of the world till i’m blue in the face and won’t be able to accomplish anything.

and yet, this world is what provides me with the ability to have nothing but superficial worries about my life. if we don’t get oil, then trains and trucks can’t supply me with the food i eat, the paper i write my assignments on, and pretty much every facet of my life that can’t come directly from the northwest. america borrows so much of the worlds resources that the only reason i can live the uninvolved life i do is because of everyone else in the world.

so maybe i should care about it. where would that get me?

a sense of global community?

a feeling of gratitude for everyone else that supplies me with the components i need to make my life the way it is now?

if i didn’t get these things, would my life be different?

probably.

would i be a different person?

maybe.

could i know either way since i could only have one frame of reference?

nope.

so what’s a fella to do?

live in this vicious cycle until i’m forced to change, it doesn’t matter one way or the other, i’ll live how i have to, because more often than not, i won’t have a choice.

man, it’s hard not to sound ignorant.