so yeah, i’m back on the rat poison, again….spent 4 days in the hospital, again.

this is buuuuuuullcrap. ah well, at least i didn’t die from a blood clot to the lungs. at least i got that much going for me.

kinda had a scary experience in the hospital though. so on monday, when i was supposed to get out (i didn’t because insurance was a bunch of slow numb nuts that couldn’t approve some drugs or something) i got a roomate after having a double room to myself for the first three days out.

this guy looked absolutly horrible, pretty much what you would expect a junkie to look like. we chatted for a bit, and he seemed like a nice guy, but just couldn’t get the heroin monkey off his back. he would joke around with the nurses, his friends, people on the phone with him, and let me tell you, he was in baaaaad shape. he had rashes all over his body, and from what i heard, all his joints, his head, and every extremity was just throbbing, and he was malnourished as well. he was definatly in bad shape. but yeah, his kids were hanging around and everything, and this guy sounded like he was trying to quit, but he was 43 years old, so i’m guessing that he had probably been doing it for awhile.

the scary part was this. he had to be moved to critical care because he was so malnourished and fargone with infection, that they were goign to have to do some operations on him to remove some of the really infected parts. this of course was a risky procedure seeing as his body wasn’t going to take a trauma like that very well, so when the nurse asked him if he wanted to be resistated if his heart stopped, he thought for a second and said

“naw, i’d rather not”

i know this stunned me, it seemed like the guy was pretty happy, had kids and family that cared abou thim, and was only 43. and yet he didn’t really want to live. when the nurse tried to talk some sense into him about how he had kids, family, and was still young he responded that “the quality of life just wasn’t there”

man, i don’t know, i’m sure that guy has been through a lot of shit in his life, but what would make him think that it wasn’t worth living? he eventually agreed, but only begrudgingly. to be that hopeless though, that you wouldn’t even want to live…man he must have been through some horrible stuff. i think he must have had his reasons, but i don’t know if they were self-inflicted or not. either that would break a man’s spirit like that must be pretty bad. sigh…

after that, i got this old mangler who just watch fox politics all the time, while his wife sat with him. after some stuff about all the new democratic candidates, he said to his wife: ‘i think i figured out why you don’t like george w. bush, because he’s a strong president like FDR was, and you didn’t like him.”

strong? you mean strong like the way he appointed pretty much the same cabinet that his dad had? i’m sure they don’t have any input on his decisions. and i’m sure they treat him with respect instead of their friends’ bratty son. and comparing him to FDR? man, i don’t know, i’m sure they’re both crooked, but sheesh, at least FDR was a good political figure, and not a buffoon. at least the next thing i heard out of the TV was figures about how a good proportion of americans “want anyone but GW back in office” and he then promptly scoffed and said “i guess most of america agrees with you, dear.” and of course she just didn’t respond to either of these comments, like she had either been cowed into not talking, or was sick of arguing with a guy who didn’t care what she had to say.

but other than that, i studied, i finished a couple of books, and played lots of cribbage and sorry. it was rather boring, and i was glad to get out of there, but now i suppose it’s back to studying for a test tomrrow.

good times at ol’ st. joeseph’s hospital, i really hope i never have to go back.

this workie?

i really like that i cando this thingfor just abit from any randomcomputer that imay happento find that hasan internet connection. it’s really damned convinient for free.

and for that, i salute you, blogger.

despite the fact that it isconvinient,doesn’t mean i have anything to say though,just a little random update while i got 10 minutes still before i need to go to lab. it’s funny with pretty much all lab classes because even though tey have 5 hours set aside for lab time, over half that time is spent waiting for a reaction to complete,or bacteria to grow, or something that just takes time. near the end of the quarter, trhis is great because you can fill that timewith studying,or something equally productive. at the beginning of the quarter though, you just sitand awkwardly talk with peopleyou kind of know because you’ve all been in the same classes for 3 years.

it’s an odd tradition, but i’m actually learning something. although i’d rather spend my sitting time elsewhere.

SQUANTO!

EXTRA EXTRA!

ryan has poop for brains.

although seemingly mundane, it’s pretty prfound, having poop for brains allows me to have massive insight into the world of bullshit that we reside in. like dissolves like, right? my poopy brains just melds and contours to fit in with everything else around me which is poopy, thus making me a viable part of this poopy life i partake in.

but that’s stupid. not everything is poopy, my brain just makes it that way, i think.

so i’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop in this school thing, it still seems like i should be spending way more time studying than i actually am. still haven’t gotten financial aid, but i still have some leftover from last quarter so that should probably take care of my tuition this quarter. but i really don’t want to have to go hunting down money i’m already being charged intrest for. that just ain’t right.

but yeah, i’m mangling like a true mangler, i read some songs that adam and keegan wrote over the weekend, and they’re awesome. i can’t remember any specific lines, but i doremember that squanto is the deer who rocks the beat. squanto rocks, he definatly keeps things real.

god, what a mangler am i. i haven’t blogged in the past month cause i’ve been too busy mangling during break.

well now break is over and it’s back to the harsh reality of mangling school. which isn’t terrible i suppose, just a bit of a system shock, but i’ll get by it. already reading ahead in all my classes, the big go-getter i am. woo ha, i’ll actually be helping to teach a biology class this quarter. apparently TA-ing here at western is much more of an active, question answering, quiz writing and grading, crazy interacting with students younger than you than i anticipated, and i guess it’s going to be alot more involved than i thought for a couple of credits. i think it’ll be awesome though, where else can i act like a moron in front of impressionable freshmen?

oh yeah, i guess my mom’s room…