what’s with all these bloggin changes? it reminds me of AOL….

so yeah, i finished a paper, printed some stuff to read later, and am now left with 10 minutes before i have to go warm up the spec 20 so i can figure out how much bacteria i have in a flask. i really just want to take a nap right now, but i don’t have enough time to really get anything started before i swith gear. damn naps are so tempting but just leave me even more tired when i do get up to go to class again.

i’m at a blank, i figured if i just started writing, something interesting would come out. apparently not though, it’ll probably just end up being whiny because truthfully, i’m tired of school, tired in over all, and just feeling drained in general. i find myself having to be really productive even on days off from school. There’s a million things to do, and all i want to do is spend about 24 hours in front of my playstation 2 with phone friggin unplugged and dogs that shoot bees out of their mouths when they bark to keep everyone else away.

There’s no zest at the moment, something is sucking at my soul right now, leaving me feeling drained at all times, and yet, nothing has really changed in my life. i’m trying to pin point it, but i figure that its just something like to much for too long. i’ll get by. i think it might be that i just need some alone time, which i’m finding more and more is essential for me. if i don’t get time to just lounge i get cracnky. i mean i go to school all day 4 days a week, and when i get home on those days i normally have to read, study, or write something before i have to do something social for a couple hours and then bed, where i wake up the next morning at 8 to go to school again, then i’ll work 4 days straight, killing my weekend.

i just feel trapped in a routine that isn’t even my own, it’s all dictated by outside sources, which i choose because i feel obligated to, but its so fast paced, that having time to just lay in the yard when its sunny isn’t an option. it has to be complicated by going to public park with others so its noisy and takes awhile to get everyone together, then there must be social interactions or games or something to keep the entire group entertained. why can’t i just skip all that bullshit and just lay in the yard with a book? because of obligations…..and my inability to say no because its easier to just give in to other people’s wills than to defy them.

man, i’m just getting more and more jaded as i write this, which i kinda feel is uneccesary. i guess this is some of the crankiness that goes with not having the alone time.

i’m so taking tonight off.