hidey ho, fellow!

how treats you this fine day?

fabulous.

really?

no way! i was totally thinking about doing something like that as well.

i was having this conversation with someone, at some point during the day, real or imagined i cannot discern. as i reach in my pocket for the delicious 3 musketeer that will soon be devoured i am struck by the odd thought that if i had no 3 musketeer in my pocket, would i still be reaching in there? NO! there would be no reason if there was nothing in my pocket especially a pocket with a huge lack of 3 muskateerage.

when i look out the window, i expect a winter wonderland. much like when i was at school and wanted it to snow so i wouldn’t have to go. but there’s nothing to be cancelled anymore. work can’t really be canceled on the account of snow, because if you don’t show up, then you don’t get paid. of course, unless you’re salaried, in which case you will be. but more than likely the snow is just going to create a hazardous drive to work surrounded by people haphazardly steering their own private hazards around.

black is a nice color on the eyes. whereas white is blinding and takes time to adjust to, black doesn’t take any adjustment. unless it’s glossy or chromey or something, then light gets reflected in your eyes. all your little cones and rods are firing in crazy manners when exposed to light, to create these stunning reproductions of things around you. TV’s still can’t match my rods and cones, but maybe someday they will, and then reality will really be in trouble.

the frequency during the day where you stand versus sitting is an interesting subject. you can’t stand all day, but alot of people sit all day. i guess people stand all day, i used to do stuff like that, working in retail. if you sit all day you feel like a blob though so a balance must be struck. if your body doesn’t get used kinetically, it will just store up some potential energy to be realesed later, and while it’s building up, you may feel the slightest bit of discomfort or anxiety as all the potential energy screams for release.

i think there’s this dam in my head that has been storing up potential energy all my life, but there’s no way to use a valve and let the dam trickle. it has to stay sealed behind the dam, or it has to break through, all at once. you either have to supress it or succumb to it. i don’t even know how i would go about succumbing to it. even if i did it would probably alter things so much as to have no frame of reference anyways.

but i guess sometimes there are cracks in the dam and a little bit seeps through before the subconcious runs to the rescue with some cement to patch it up. but it hits you and you wonder about the things around you, this feeling that everything doesn’t make sense, and pretty much can’t. everything around you seems so improbable, and yet there it is, something you can taste, feel, smell, and see. something so simple as this environment around you is incredibly not simple and the fact that you can even comprehend everything that is involved with it is stunning within itself.

here i sit, this guy named ryan, surrounded by a big improbable world loaded with billions of other improbabilities that somehow coalesce into this mish mash of tangible and intangible with me somehow fitting into this homoginized tub.

there’s no space or time to fit, only to be.