so beautiful out…want to leave work…but…can’t…

no biggie, i’ll get out of here. i think the summer season has pretty much started though, so it’ll be nice 60% of the time instead of the usual 30%. and life will be good, much as i anticipate it will.

myspace….strangeness. even though i have a page, i don’t really check it that much and spent about 20 minutes writing blurbs about my interests, but the online universe out there because of it is amazing. it’s like all that BBS shit i used to do back in the day, but makes it easy enough for anyone, and is much more pervasive.

people have been finding me that i haven’t seen or heard of in almost a decade. people i knew before i went to college, people i used to know before i left woodinville. it’s absolutely insane (to me) that these people activley find me and probably end up reading this stupid blog. chronicles of my life for the past…jeez, i have to check…2001, almost 5 years. wow, it’s wierd to think i started blogging about a week before 9/11. it was a lifetime ago if i went back and actually read all this crap. which i do sometimes. i wrote this blog a couple of years ago stating that the opinons i held back then would be funny to me someday, and yep, pretty much called that one. although that wasn’t too tough.

9/11 doesn’t seem that long ago though, with it’s effects still reverberating everyday. and even though everything that happens because of it (or maybe the previous couple of centuries) seems like it’s going to be the end of the world, it pretty much pewters out. having built up how bad things are makes it sadly dissappointing when they don’t live up to the expectations. imagine that.

there’s this underlying idea, something that connects all of this crap in our universe, and it’s right there, i can feel it almost. everything that happens to me seems to be a reflection of everything i see in the world, or others, skewed a little another way. very similar, but somewhat different. but so similar. something that everyone’s trying to put into words. i just need to see it in the right context, and i feel like it’s coming soon. like when i find out definitively that the joke has been on us all these years, like i feel it is.

i don’t know though, i may just be feeling too introspective and hippieish, and all this communing with nature by being outside and trying to learn to meditate is just messing with my head. not that i mind. my mind definatly needs some messing with, because it doesn’t feel like it’s happening often enough. it’s way too comfortable and happy and needs to be jarred from its comfortable nest with the uprising of major tradgedy. i’ll cope with it either way.

i gotta believe!