as i was leaving heather’s parents house after an eating marathon, something stuck with me. TV is a major prescence there, and i end up getting my fill of food and TV time while i’m there. MTV happened to be on and it was some show about being rich, or something like that.

anywyas, this girl said “every girl’s dream is to be able to have whatever she wants.” ignoring all the obvious crtiques of the comment like, “just girls?” or “every girl?” there’s something deep here.

imagine you could have anything you wanted. what would you want? isn’t most of the wants you can fathom very limited? suppose there was world peace, every leader in the world was benevolent and kind, race and class abolished. then what? suppose you could have inner peace, just like that. then what? any wish you have, granted. then what?

these goals we set for ourself, these wants we desire to have fulfilled, once they are fulfilled, what do we do? we look for the next goal to conquer. it seems shallow, but it certainly is a valid way to exsist. i know i fill the time with it. and i don’t feel like i’m robbing myself of anything, but at the same time, it’s not something to base your life around.

i’m not really sure what i think of goals yet, but i know the way you go about achieving them is important. that’s where the real learning comes in. the choices you make to achieve what you want are dictated by your values, and those are what you have to reflect on. the reason that you make choices. these choices often lead where you want them to, and other times, someplace completley new. but that’s not terribly important unless you place the emphasis on the goal, the ends.

i live in a society dictated by these ends, where reaching a goal is sublime, and the only thing to focus on. i guess i should say the easy thing to focus on. progression through everyday life is tough, and appreciating the means is sometimes tough. i feel like everything is around me to test those values, give me choices in my means, to achieve an end. those choices are what makes up me (externally), but those choices reflect on the judgement of myself (internally). everything around me may not make immediate sense to me (or ever) but they act like benchmarks for what i do, or want to believe.

establishing that frame of reference is the tough part though. it’s hard to take it all in.