so i looked in our fridge today, and took stock of all the water bottles in our fridge. propel, gatorade, evian bottles, all emptied of their original contents, replenished by the tap. while pulling out one of the sporty evian bottles i noticed that if you read “evian” backwards, it was “naive” which immediately brought a smile to my face, as bottled water is a pretty ridiculous concept in the country.

of course i thought i couldn’t have been the first person to notice it, so i took my case to google, which immediately brought me to snopes.com which informed me that it was just a straight up coincidence, where the water is named after the area it is bottled in, Evian-les–Bains, somewhere in France.

it was a fun little mystery though. i certainly sleuthed that one out.

it’s funny.

i look at the title of this blog sometimes and realize why i named it this. it is so fitting that it springs from the screen and punches me in the windpipe. it screams at my hipocracy, and laughs at my weakness. here i sit, something i define, and it still turns against me. it has no other option.

even if i sit here, judgement will find me. it is judgement through my own means, through a construct i have tried to shape and define. and that is what i am left with. no regret, just shallowness. unrepentant shallowness. i define what i want to be, i let it be known what i want. and i am left defining that screen through my actions, through my choices. i am nothing but what i reveal. and yet i am not.

i am whatever i want, but it is too much to keep track of on my own. so i leave it in the hands of others. there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with that. i delegate so much of my daily life to others that its second nature now. delegation is what makes human society work so well, why shouldn’t i be affluent in that currency?

what if you were short a bit though? then what? about all you could do would be to adjust and thrive. try it out, see how it feels, see if it fits your construct. because you will only stand for what you can justify at the time. integrate it if it fits the construct, reject it otherwise. sometimes it is 1 or 0. answer 1 and check out that sweet bell-curve. our most complex motions can be predicted by simple math. only because of simple choices though. the more varibles, the more chances for error.

i feel a bit short, and yet the fault lies with me. and really, that’s probably how it should be. at least i got that going for me.

ring….ring….ring……ring…….ring……RING……..RING…….RING……

whoops, somebody left their phone sitting around with someone sitting on the other end desperately trying to make contact. maybe they’ll pick up on the fourth time you’ve tried calling.

ring-ding-dong, ring-a-ling-ding-ding-dong

anyways, i’ve got a few more minutes to burn here before i make a run for the border. i think it has pretty much successfully been done. maybe someday soon i’ll be inspired to write something of substance.

don’t hold your breath.