the power of positive thinking.

it’s so cliche but it can work sometimes. i mean if you just stop yourself and think through an activity you’re going to do and then think “this is going to be fun!” somehow, your perspective alters a little.

even if it’s not going to be the paragon of fun in your life, it just gives an activity a little bit of a positive spin, a little bit less of the bitter. i was thinking about this, because yesterday’s blog pointed to some negative things in my life, and i think altering my frame of mind is probably that change that needs to be made.

if i can shift my perspective, i can shift my environment.

a month already? really?

it just happens.

i think i’ve just been coasting along because i can. i mean, i’m getting motivated to do stuff like go climbing, ride a bike, read, stuff like that. but at this point, it all feels like i’m following the same script day in and day out. time just seems to melt away, and i’m none the richer for it. my husk just wanders around and does things i know i enjoy, but there’s no residual effect anymore. like i can only be satiated or happy in the exact moment it’s happening, and then it does, and then it’s over.

i am still me, but there is a dullness to life that needs some polishing. it’s beyond resignation at this point, it just is. i find myself feeling more and more indifferent lately, and there’s something that’s letting my membranes leak and i’m losing irreplaceable stuff. maybe the fact that i take so much for granted, but i can’t help it. i can’t emulate the feeling of eternal joy and happiness for everything in my life unless there’s a chance it might be stolen away, and i just don’t have that perspective right now.

not that i want that perspective, but i feel like i’m at some point in my life where i have to lose to gain. or at least find some suitable facsimile. there’s gotta be something. quite the understatment there. ipso facto. find that something, complete your life. slam dunk, baby.

i need to lighten up.