so it has been awhile, indeed, as ben has pointed out. at least the parts that pertain to active thoughts and the of feeling being stuck as a quiet, mindless zombie. it’s a thought that really struck today though. this work schedule is owning me, hard. the workload along with the hours, are invariably wearing me out. but i can deal. this too shall pass.

i’m not sure exactly what i heard but something pointed me to the word obese. i was about to go on a run, and was stretching, and i just realized i hadn’t thought about being obese in a long time. of course my body feels great, well at least not anything different. a little tired all the time, but i’m still doing lots of active things.

and i realized it wasn’t so much my body that was exhausted, but my mind. it feels hazy and dense, and impossible to slog through at times. but i have to, so i pull on some boots and do it, i have to. it’s way too gunked up, and that was about the moment i realized i was mentally obese. the fact that i’m a bit frazzled from work lets me know just how out of shape my mind is. it needs this workout, but it this is such a focused exercise consisting only of work. i need other forms of training to round things out, but i got a little more time to burn.

i do realize my mind so tired due to a large amount of stress on my body, but it needs some needless pushing from time to time. there will be a reckoning, for sure, but that will come later.

on another note,

the best thing about this laptop since i got it is the ability to sit in extreme comfort, and shower the brain with mindless and soothing media of all types.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9C6XaYFOz4

*mental note* deep breaths and remember to crack a smile from time to time.

no pain no gain.

i have time and all that, but it’s the weekend and i don’t particularly feel like typing now, not in anyway that is meaningful, per se.

but i am here anyways, no? but for a reason, and that reason is trains. as my nephew has taught me, there is a zen like acceptance of fate in the daily beauty and activities of trains.

http://www.RailPictures.net

let me tell you…

working from 5 PM to 2 AM will kill your drive to write anything.

this is becuase nothing really happens since you sleep alot.

and your brain is in zombie, auto pilot mode.

boom!