connections. the word holds quite a bit of possibility. it certainly has a draw to it. i just have to find that next sentence, that next connection to keep the ball rolling. because if it stops then it just takes that much more of an effort to get the momentum back up.

and then, bam.

switch up the music, get a smile on your face. and that’s the thing with music. all this crap i throw out there about how language is so imperfect for expressing thoughts…bring on the music. express a feeling through tones and inflection. go for straight time if you’re feeling direct, 3/4 time if you’re feeling a bit more circuitous. get up with the major, get down with the minor. do whatever you want! just like languages there are rules, but none of them are hard and fast, get artistic on that shit.

so there’s that. i just need to pull my head out of the clouds for a second and blink a couple of times to clear my eyes. take a deep breath. and smile a little, why not?

switch up the music again, think, reflect.

i’ve been here before. again. just like i wanted to be. relaxing, feeling my body, taking a deep breath and smiling. and then remember to pull myself back down again. think objectively and look around. yup, everything seems to be in place. it must be why it’s so tough to think of things to type about at this moment. when it feels like every story i can tell is inconsequential, yet central to my growth as a person, it’s a feeling of dichotomy that is tough to contain. the meta nature of it feels like an old coat i’ve gotten used to wearing, but only for practical purposes.

seriously, just let my subconscious run free and this is what happens. all my happiness seems to stem from melancholy these days, and i can’t be sure if that’s a great thing anymore. it is for sure, but balance it out for god’s sake. turn your brain on occasionally. coming here is a cry for help, you know, from my ego and id to my super-ego. grow a backbone and do something. all these ideas and all talk. be the change you want to see in the world. be!

yup! and all i can guarantee is i’ll see you when i see you. and then give a jaunty smile and a wave. 🙂

hahaha, i can’t believe i was just gonna end a post with a :). that makes me smile and laugh.

happy 28th!