but before i do, i consider the definitions of “look” and “ahead”

in fact, i start considering the definitions in general. i look at a term and define it, with the greatest of ease. it just happens. things are defined in my universe, for better or worse. look at the definitions, they are all there, waiting to be defined, waiting for validation. and no matter what i define, i end up at the beginning again, a little wiser, with a little less time. back at square one, with a moment or two to define my situation.

i wish there was something definite here, something to define on my terms, but there can’t be, unless i make it so.

so i do.

and the life i live comes back, rushing at me, a million miles an hour. faster than i can define, because it happens in an instant. all of the sudden, i am travelling at that speed. life, the universe, and everything, travelling at a rate i define. something wondrous happened for me to deserve this, all of this.

so what else can i do? sing a little, dance a little, proclaim all that is glorious simply be being. somehow, it is all defined in this moment.

i look back, i look ahead.

then i check my definitions.