Now that I’m not debilitatingly tired and have some time for reflection I keep coming back to what I just accomplished, and what it means in my life. I climbed that mountain for no reason, really. I did it because my friends had an idea to do it and I went along. Because, why not? Climb the mountain because it’s there and I hear mountain climbing is tough. I’ve pushed myself before, but never like this. Still, I was well trained, had advice and advisers, and all the gear I needed.

I found that was only half of it though, I saw truly how important being mentally prepared is than physical training. This is one of those ideas that is driven into you a million times by others, telling you that your mental attitude is huge in the things you want to accomplish. Of course, I was aware of this idea, I feel like I’ve used it before. I said in the previous post that I couldn’t believe that I had done it, but I think there was alot coming in, and I couldn’t place all of  it.

Upon looking back, I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that I could do it. I just knew I could, and then I started to see myself as my attitudes beyond my ego. Seeing my limitations and the things I can accomplish and the insignificance of it all, really. Seeing myself for who I am, and what is important to me. Believing in myself, utterly. Needless to say, it’s tough to describe without sounding like a cliched douchebag.

I’ve been hearing “It is what it is” more and more these days , and I mean alot. I feel like it’s popping up everywhere, that people are accepting things because there’s not really any other option. The phrase bugs me a little, a catch-all phrase that can act as a band-aid for actual analysis. I might be biased because I still think “So it goes” is better. But the idea is there, floating through people’s minds, describing a feeling. One by one, these ideas start webbing together and a belief is born. It comes from somewhere, it is tangible.

But there I was, standing on top of a mountain, looking out upon it all, feeling I was supposed to have a huge sense of accomplishment of what i had just achieved. At least extremely humbled or something. I didn’t though, I had just done it because I knew I was going to. In the moment it happened, I was too preoccupied with exhaustion and time constraints to bring it all home. Looking back at it now though, I see how it comes together, how believing doesn’t make it so.  Believing is what it is. It is what I am, it is what I do. It is being human, and recognizing where you fit in, as much as you can.

As narcissistic and conceited as this sounds,  believing in myself is as close to God as I can get. That’s not all there is to it, but that’s the base idea. I can’t carry it all by myself, I need others, and they need me. All of us believing everything and nothing to varying degrees at the same time. The idea of seeing yourself as both important and inconsequential. Believing what you want and what you will,  fitting it into existing on this planet, and finding a sense of peace in all of it.

So it goes my friend, so it goes.