Life at the speed of action. There is something missing from my normal brain activity, some deficiency of something or other. Life is barrelling along so fast that i am just caught on the wave without any real time to think, only to act/react.

My brain doesn’t want to react, it is just sitting in the corner pouting, only wishing to be left alone. not even using treats can really coax it out, because the treats don’t hold any value. Nothing relly feels like it has value right now, positive or negative. These things just are. Objects among other objects, without any qualities with which to judge, things that just are.

Things become incomprehensible now, and ruminations of borderline depression set in. but that’s just another object, with defineable physical qualities but no soul, no substance.

There just always seems so much to do that accomplishes so little. Although that’s hardly fair. “Little” is pretty subjective there. I guess just the ratio of how much input i feel i’m putting in according to my life experience parameters to how much i’m getting out.

the economics of scale in terms of the metaphysical. a cold, cold way to think. of course it’s going to lead to annoyance.