whoa, new blogger….has it been that long. suppose it has.

so i was looking to type something thinking “wow, i haven’t blogged in awhile” and then i realized that i haven’t really done so because i’ve been busy trying to see everyone before i have to work the rest of the summer, and now i realize just how hard it is to type with one hand and one index finger. it makes for slow going.

so yeah, i hurt my hand. falling off my bike. i mean, i’ve been perpetually injured for the past year and a half, why ruin this perfect streak? i mean, i learned how to live without the function of a leg, i need to learn what it’s like to live life one handed. and they both suck. i mean, it sucks to be immobile, but then again it also sucks to have no dexterity in one of your hands. makes you realize how importanat one is to the other. at least i’ve got one though. and the index and thumb still work on my left hand, so i got this claw to manipulate things.

enough about that though, this summer is awesome. mike’s gone for 6 weeks, which is kinda a bummer cause he would fit right in with all the mangling we’ve already accomplished, but i know he’s having the time of his life on his geology field camp. i mean he wouldn’t shut up about it for 5 months, he better be having a great time. we just set up this 10 foot diameter pool that’s about 2 feet deep, and it’s awesome, it’s like the mangling pool. just hop in with a brew, you’re up to your shoulders in fairly cool water, it’s a beautiful thing. so is the slip and slide. these are all great perks of having a large backyard. you can play with all these water things, and lay around, and generally mangle with your time off. god, all the stuff i read now is brain candy compared to the norm of thick textbooks. it’s great that i can dedicate like 6 hours in a day to reading harry potter because my new job is so mindless. i love how mindless it is, it’s great, all you do is your little monkey tasks and at the end of the day, you go home and have nothing to worry about besides work the next day. i don’t have to plan ahead, or worry about anything, and live for just right now. after all the planning i’ve had to put into school, this is a great thing.

oh and also, if you want to sit around and bird watch, go to a showing of charlie’s angels: full throttle. i mean, not only do you get to see cameron diaz, drew barrymore, and lucy liu dance around scantily clad and whatnot, but pretty much 90% of the people going to see the movie today were girls, and a good portion of that 90% were all hot. unfortunatly, if you don’t work at the theater, you can’t take their ticket and make them clap and spin in circles before you hand them their stub. (easiest, most entertaining job ever)

and this break is just getting started….it’s gonna be rad

dammit, my hands starting to throb, but i think i managed to get more than i thought i could anyways. so i hope everyone’s summer is just as mangling, or at least the nice weather allows for nice weather mangling.

yes!

ok, out of all the students that took organic chemistry this year, according to the ACS nationwide organic chemistry test, i am in the 81st percentile of students.

so that makes me smart, at least 81% smarter or something.

hmmm, i’ve been out of school a week already?

what a great week it’s been though, i rocked all my classes, chillin’ with the family and seattle friends, and getting back into the summer course of slacking.

let me tell you, it takes some dedication to slack properly, and i’m down for the challenge

ok, those are done with…i’ll never have to take physics or organic chemistry again…i’m kinda sad about the ochem, but physics lick deez nutz.

one more test tomrrow, and then it’s over, and i’ll pull that flap of scalp off on the left side of my head and go ahead and just flip the switch off, so that rational thought won’t be of any worry to me for the next 3 months. then i can turn the right side back on, it’s been awhile….

quick, write a blog!

and please make it relevant, the audience is listening.

i’m listening to this stuff i downloaded called lemon jelly, and well, it’s just happy. i would reccomend it to anyoneit’s great downtempo stuff, but it has a lighthearted appeal about it. it’s got good production value, whatever the hell that means, i just listen to it, scratch my nuts and go “goooooood” while commiting some act of debauchery.

time to buckle down, keep it together, just two weeks of school, then i can be apathetic for a couple of months. i’ll pobably get bored as hell just working and not learning anything, but if i don’t take a break, someone’s gonna die. me. or someone like me. i just chugged a beer when i probably should be going to bed. i’m still in denial that the weekend is over, and now i gotta cram in a whole lotta school between now and when school ends a week and a half. but shit, that’s half the fun of school right? i’ll prove to myself yet again that i can fly halfassedly into a situation, with not a whole lot of direction, and pull out with flying colors. congratulations to me, i know how to work this particular system.

i am streamlined, fit, hip, and ready to go.

i christen this blog, and all henceforth and all previous, inane!

ok, little side note….

i saw cowboy bebop in a theater up here and it was awesome, it was great to see it all on the big screen, but relaly, spike’s english voice did no justice to his japanese counterpart. so whil i guess i could really expect as much fromt he english re-dub, it was still great.

because i mean, seriously, spike is my hero, represent.

WUDAR

ok, so clock one up to ryan crashing when he probably should have. or shouldn’r have, i don’t know, just a little slightly more than wudar right now.

i can’t believe that i just hit a curb straight on, and fell off, skinning my elbow in front of a drunken, suportive crowd, and yet, i can.

it was awesome, ki haven’t skinned my elbow in forever, it’s kind of refreshing to know that i can skin my elbow and remeber what it felt like, so long ago, when i used to be hardcore….wudar.

oh i guess i haven’t blogged in awhile, guess i’ve been busy with school and whatnot, but really, last weekend (before this one) was awesome. i mean, people ended up having sex on the couch in the living room, after warnings from everyone in the house not to do it. how pimp is that?

big pimpin baby, i only got two weeks of school left before sweet sweet slacking.

too faded to type, thank you everyone *bows*

wudar

ok, i know this sounds somber, but i actually was just thinking it, cause it was really amusing to me:

“I wonder if people can tell that i am vacantly staring at them?”

hee hee hee, it’s almost like i’m trying to get caught sometimes….i never do though….*sigh*

wow, i actually got far enough ahead in school, that i got to come home early today. i’m at a loss of what i should do….probably a bike ride pretty soon, but shit i mean, i must be bored if i’m coming here to write, right? mayhaps…..so distracted today, like class was incredibly slow today, where 5 minutes seems like 15, and i was anxious as hell about sitting in there and basically doing nothing. but there wasn’t anything i wanted to be doing when i got out, like now. i don’t really have anything pressing to do, but i feel like i need to be doing something productive….sigh, my inner personality comes out. today is not a day for having to deal with people, i just don’t want to deal with it. it seems to be a theme lately though, i just drown myself in school to avoid others. that and to actually feel like i’m doing SOMEthing, and have tangible results that depend on how well i do.

scatterbrained right now, i should just keep typing, cause i’m not really certain if i’m making cohesive sense. thinking too much between sentances just gives a stacatto, broken up paragraph, because my brain moves at about 10 times the speed of my typing (of course, who doesn’t)

i just feel dissappointed today. not in myself, not in anyone else, but dissappointed in what i have and what i can get in life. i can pretty much do whatever i want to, if i work hard enough, but it all just looks the same in the end. i manufacture unhappinesses for myself so that i can justify my happiness. so it doesn’t really matter what i do or don’t do, i’ll still be in teh same cycle. my illusion of control, is just that…an illusion. i look around at everyone else who seems to be caught up in the same cycle as i am….but i guess that’s unfair to make a broad generalization like that. i can’t claim anythign about anyone else. but it sure seems to me that everyone goes through the same thought processes as i do. not exactly the same mind you, but they mostly end up at the same conclusion, or effect.

i’m disillusioned with the fact that i can’t be disillusioned anymore. i can fool everyone else, but i can’t fool myself. i have enough information about the world to know that i don’t know anything about it, and no amount of yelling is goign to change it. the earth is a giant organisim, and i am just another skin cell that is waiting to work my way to the surface before i get sloughed off.

i read in this side of paradise recently that when the main character in the book was asked if would want to go back to his youth again and relive his life with what he knew now. and he came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t have wanted to. he realized that he would just be extending his life unecesarily, and what he actually wanted to get by being young again is the ability to lose your innocence again. to cross the bridge for the first time, and realize that it was something new, something different from what you previously thought to be true. to drink alcohol for the first time and realize how it is different from the way you’ve been living the previous years of your life. that really hit me because i hadn’t really thought about it like that, and it kinda put things into perspective for me.

not that it really illuminated anything terribly important, it’s just another way to look at things.

i know this all sounds kinda depressing, but there’s still hope at the end of the tunnel. since i preservere, there must be something that i’m going to reach. it doesn’t matter if it’s a goal, a fulfillment of a desire, or a justification for my existance. i know there’s something out there that’ll do it for me, and i’ll at least be at peace with myself. i like to think that i am at peace with myself these days, but can see all the contradictions i pose to myself everyday to disprove that. i think that if i were more at peace with myself, i’d be less irritated by others. i wouldn’t have this feeling of unfounded dissappointment.

but it’s all up and down anyways, i think everything in this universe works in sinusoidal waves, and the more i live, the more i believe in it. one extreme to the next. perhaps i’m dissappointed because i was too happy last night. i mean it sounds really sad, but i was so happy last ngiht when i was watching anime. like it was the last episode of azumanga daioh that i was watching, and so it was the wrap up episode. and the entire episode i just had a stupid grin on my face.

yeah, i’m a dork, but i’ve been at terms with that for awhile now. anyways, just thinking about how i felt last night, and what caused it makes me feel better already….up and down.

i’m a silly person, but i get by

ok, school moment of the day:

i was walking from the library towards my chemistry class, and i glance up at this large big metal sculpture thing that’s basically just a big slab of steel stood on it’s long end.

and i see written in 4 foot high letters the word “BUKKAKE”.

my god, i started laughing so hard i was bending over in the middle of a busy walk way, i’m sure with people wondering what the hell was so funny. man, i’m snickering right now just thinking of it. i mean, it’s such a hilarious word. i wonder how many people who walked by had no idea what it meant?

probably, alot more than i think…..