so its official, collin is a ho. ditichin out on me liek that, like he’s got better things to do or something. haha, i really don’t care, but i still gotta give him shit for this i believe. lazy weekends are great, when you don’t have anythikng to worry about except the fact that you have to get up at 7 in the morning on monday. i just sat around, read, played vids, and went on a leisurly bike ride. its nice to be able to be close enough to large popular parks like gasworks and greenlake. i love parks up in bellingham, but i think i have a different respect for them as opposed to seattle parks. up in bellingham, they’re gorgeous and picturesque and bastions of wildlife. in seattle, they’re bastions of scantly clad women. hahaha, nothing beats riding around for a couple of hours then making your way to a park, resting and just watchign the scenery.

man, what a day, its beautiful out, i got off of work early, and i got an evening full of possibilities ahead of me. of course i can kinda already predict what’s going to happen this evening, and none of its too exciting, but you never know when something might happen….like a jet engine falling out of the sky and hitting your house.

wudar, its so beautiful out that i have to give it its due by going out and running

worms make the dirt, and the dirt makes the earth….

i was thinking today while i was running how often i stereotype people. when i see a scantly clad girl with platform shoes and huge earrings, she’s a slut. if i see some guy dressed up like weezer he’s an emo head who thinks everyone is stupid . when i see some person who’s dressed goth style, i see a contemptous person who thinks life is pain. all this is automatic response though, but its strange that it should be so automatic. i guess its just ingrained in me or something. cause then i was thinking “well, what do i think of guys who don’t wear shirts while they run?” and then i realized that most of the time, its a musclebound meathead who gets his jollies off of belittling people, and isn’t that intelligent, and i know that’s not me, so why should i judge people otherwise? but that’s the thing, i don’t let that kind of thing interfere with how i interact with people, but i can’t help but think that it does because subconsciously, i’ve already type casted them. but i shoved that aside cause the next question that popped in my head was “what do people think when they look at me?” and normally when i have thought that i start thinking about what i actually do look like, and what i’m doing and everything, but this time i was just blank for a few seconds, and then i just countered myself with the question “who gives a fuck?” and i burst out laughing in the middle of my run, cause i truly didn’t give a fuck, and i got this wierd stare from this family in a house across the street, and i just smiled at them and kept running. i just remembered that right before i left i was telling myself “why the hell do you want to wear a shirt, you’re just gonna soak it in the first 2 minutes of your run, and then you’ll be out one more white shirt you can’t rewear until its washed” and seeing as i only have a few left anyways, and don’t want to do laundry, i just went without really thinking of it. but yeah the automatic response thing is funny, and i think i’ll be able to break out of it eventually…at least that’s my goal….

haha, collin should be home by now, it should be fun to catch up with that fool. i mean, with out me at my house in redmond he’s gonna have to hang with evan or something to get his pop and chips fix. i can just bet that my house in seattle is way too far out to get his ass over here. i’ll just tell scott to bring him over. man, i am loving this whole work weekend thing. no deadlines, no thinking, just beautiful routine during the work day, and coming back and doing whatever the hell i want when i get home. i do need a new book though. i did finish atlas shrugged a couple of days ago though, that was a great book….it was pretty much thinly disguised metaphysics, cause there would be story for a bit and then there would be an obvious tirade of 50 pages where ayn rand just goes off and lectures, but it really was a masterpiece of modern literature. the ideas contained in that book are just amazing….but hard to explain. its kinda against everything that i’ve ever learned but i think that it makes more sense. it talks about each man being and end in himself rather than a means, and that the reason that people today are lost and unhappy are because they think that they are a means. and because they think they are a means, they are forced to depend so much on other people, that they lose a sense of themselves, and since they have no sense of themselves, tehy can’t ever be happy, because its all depends on what other people tell you, as opposed to what you tell yourself. and jeez, that’s only part of it…theres a bunch of philosiphy about government, society, etc. i basically thought that this was a beautiful refute to the grapes of wrath….i couldn’t reccomend this book enough, because all the ideas are solid and very thought provoking, but its a shame cause i know many people won’t read either that book, or the fountainhead because they’re pretty dense reads and both are over a thousand pages….ah well, if you can i say do it.

ahhh, time for dinner, a whole rotisserie chicken, courtesy of those fine people at QFC

the miracle of life……..is AWESOME….

well jeez, i haven’t really written anythign very coherent for the past few weeks, cause i was in new jersey, being a complete and utter beach bum. my daily routine mostly consisted of the following factors:

1. wake up around 10:30 and go on run

2. get back from run, throw on bathing suit and go into ocean for a half hour.

3. switch from sunbathing to ocean for 5 to 6 hours.

4. come back to house, read and shower then eat fantastic homemade meal

5. fly stunt kites on the beach till dark.

6. go sit around, drink beer and bull shit with family and play euchre.

7. repeat.

god it was great, of course there was the occasional variation, like i went to play golf one day where i played with a bunch of my uncles. went out a couple of nights during the week with my cousins nikki and kerri, who like to go out and drink hard, which i thought was great, and i had a bunch of really good talks with kerri, and we ended up having a lot of fun over teh vacation. another day consited of going to gettysberg, which was a good 5 hours from the new jersey shore, so while the driving was horrendous, it was really cool to see the place where that battle took place. after reading the killer angles, it was cool to realise that the book was so well written that i could easily identify with all the squadrons and how the terrain of the battlefield fit into everything, etc…but me, my bro and my dad, just kinda walked around on the backtrails of all the battle fields, and it was a strange experience to be waking through fairly dense forest, and realize that there were tens of thousands of people who were killed in the area, and it was kinda humbling. but very rad.

so yeah, i’m living in seattle now, working 5 days a week, chilling in my rather large (but very sparsley furnished) room. iag though, i can tell this house is gonna be a blast already what with all the buffoonery that’s been going on so far. god we went and saw reign of fire tonight. i couldn’t even tell you if it was good or bad, cause i had a whole lot of difficulty on focusing on an ything in that movie. i only caught bits, and they appeared to be pretty and dazzling, but i don’t know, i couldn’t reccommend it to anyone though, cause i don’t really know what happened. hahahaha, i r rad. work is worktastic, as i supposed it would be. beats the hell out of school though….

well shit, i think its time for passin out. wudar.

bahahaha, what a rad night, after all this hectic moving and whatnot i’m chilling, talking to towo friends from high schiool who are pretty near incoherency (mike especially). shizxzzle mah nizzle, that is the rallying cry for everythign we have stood for tonight. which is erverything that is rad. if we did not have things that were rad we would not be able toexsist. without the absoluteness that rad is, nothin g else in this dimension could be solid. so you see, without rad we have nothing so remember to hold on to your rad with every tentacle that you can throw out and keep away from your towel, cause the most valuabe thing you can every take anywhere with you is a towel of course, anyone who knows anythign will know that the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy says that every frood should know where his towel is. wandering is great, mentally or physically, its just a feeling of realese from anything you hold constant about yourself and just let it slide….fun….i like to have fun. bahahaha.wudar, everything is rad, and i am rad, and everyone who know’s they’re money are rad. wudar.

i do not understand how i could possibly write a blog right now, i am so tired. 80 degree days and working out in the sun really takes it out of you….hahah, i’m tired but not exhausted though. its nice to have your day at work be your workout so you don’t have to go running or something afterwards.

but yeah the weekend completley rocked. it was rad to chill with the 203 crew over the weekend and just get ragingly belligerent. the pool table is great too. haha, having adam’s little brother up is fun too, i swear, he fits right in with our group, even though he’s 7 years younger than all of us.

fucked, i gotta go, oh well

203 = wudar

wtf? i’m gone from the house for a week, and everything goes everywhere, and i am outr of ht eloop, cause i’m never online these days due to the fact that its my bro’s computer and i can’t get internet on mine. but sheeeeeeet. apparently we’re moving now. now really i don’t give a damn, its just funny when all sorts of info comes barreling down on you and you have no idea what’s going on. i mean really, i don’t care, its just the place i live. i’m kinda beginning to feel like everything i have is superfluous, but but i don’t think i’m totally convinced of it yet cause i haven’t been put in a position where i do lose things that i have…

i had a great convo with ben at work though, i really think i needed that. trying to sort out the difference between caring and not caring. he made me think about it in a new way though, i really thought i was bitter in most senses, and jaded, but not quite an di could never quite put my finger on the difference i was feeling. and then ben said that you had to care to be bitter, and that put everything in perspective. ben you are so money, and you know it, and its rad. but yeah, i have a feeling this summer is going to be interesting, to say the least…for down here in seattle, and up there in bellingham. i almost feel like i’m in two different worlds, and i kinda am. obligations to people in bellingham, and obligations to people here in seattle, like i have too many people i need to keep track of. i don’t necesarilly think of them as obligations, because these people are my friends. i kinda feel like last summer, i just escaped from one place to the other, cause i remember not really keeping track of my bellingham peeps over the summer, but i can already tell like this one is going to be different. haha, one week into the summer, and i’m already excited about the prospects for this summer. i mean, if jakub can get a girlfriends, then anything’s possible….

hahaha, my first work blog…and thus again begins the cycle of nothingness. god this shit is a breeze compared to school. i don’t have to think, i don’t have to take notes, i don’t have to do homework. i show up and i push buttons and goof off. all this and i get paid, its pretty sweet i must say.

man, i kinda miss the pool table already though…ah well, living at home is nice for short stretches of time. when you get back home after a fairly large hiatus, its pretty easy to get along with your parents, and hell they feed you and everything. i imagine if i stayed all summer though, i probably wouldn’t appreciate it as much. but i mean, i live here for a bit, i move in with ben, and then i move back at the end of the summer (depending if i have knee surgury or not)

i kinda feel like today at work was kinda a reintroduction to seattle after not being here for awhile. first off, traffic int he morning was bad, but hell, i haven’t been able to just blast music i like and sing along with it, so that made it pretty damn fun. and i showed up to work and just talked with ben most of the morning, and we bullshitted and it was great. of course it was raining today, but not a downpour, so it was cool. and then i got stuck in traffic again going to the office on the alaskan viaduct. which was rediculous becasue it was noon, but what was funnier is when i finally got to the cause of the traffic (30 minutes later) there was just two of the three lanes blocked off with flares, and two police cars blocking the road, and nothing else.

…

now normally in any other place this would probably be strange, you know, to block off two lanes of a highway when there’s nothing wrong. but i really think that its a seattle thing, to have meaningless traffic. hahaha, i thought it was pretty funny though, i don’t really mind getting caught in traffic too much when its travelling around during the workday.

and now apparently there’s projects for me to do, and things for me to keep track of, but ben assures me that everything will be fine. just can’t go home early as much i suppose….oh well, i need stuff to do anyways.

oh and i passed all my classes, i am so stoked….i don’t even care too much, i mean, i smoked my bio class cause i’m interested in that stuff, i just want to get chemistry and math out of the way.

AND NOW I WILL NEVER HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER MATH CLASS AGAIN!!!

oh thank the jebus

2 finals down, one to go

i don’t even really care how i did them…i just keep thinking i shouldn’t start selling my books yet though…well at least for chemistry

i have a bunch of math to review now, i haven’t even started looking at it yet

i don’t care

one more day…..

baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2 finals tomrrow

1 on thursday

then i am done….DONE!!!! oh god!!!

you know you download too much porn when….

A) You get home, sit down and start visiting your regular sites like clockwork, chatting with people at the same time, and not even caring what you are downloading, or why

B) The people on your network complain when you don’t put new stuff up everyday

C) You get frustrated when the sites you go to post stuff you have had for months

D) You don’t even get a woody when goign through all your sites

E) You don’t even minimize all the sites you’re going through when people you don’t know or barley know come into your room

F) You have a 10 gig hardrive that keeps filling up every week, and you get frustrated when you have to go and sort through all the crap you’ve downloaded to see what’s worth keeping, and what’s not, just so you can go ahead and download more crap.

I AM THE PORN MASTER!!!