dammit….i should be very tired, i mean, i’ve been up for awhile, and i’ve been all busy today. and i am not tired at all, but if i don’t go to bed now, i’m gonna be wrecked tomrrow. but if i can’t fall asleep, what good will it do to try? dammit…

damn you blogger post!!!

well yeah, an interesting day to say the least i guess….how do i put this. i think that i’m cursed. i’ll never sleep with another girl again i think. but yeah, anyways, deviating from the point a bit, yesterday was pretty fun. not anything special, i mostly just sat around the house, cleaning, and chilling with adam’s brother. but yeah, he’s a rad guy. but man, i went to the gym yesterday, what a trip…i mean, basically i think that these places are establishments of hedonisim, in the most superficial sense. here is a plac e where people who want to have their bodies look good convene and proceed to do weight training for no practical purpose other than to get big. it’s just exercise for the fact of looking good. not relaly to be in better shape, or to be healthier, but to just make sure you look good naked.

but anyways, it kinda was like that when i got there, i kinda felt like a rat in a spinning wheel, with all those machines there. but despite all my qualms about it, it was so incredibly nice to be able to do something. basically the only thing i can do is ride a bike and swim, and stationary bikes are pretty convinient, what with no chance of hurting yourself falling off. but all in all, i guess it was bearable. i mean, it wasn’t that crowded, and i have to admit that the scenery was damn fien looking.

but yeah, i’m gonna head up to slam city jam pretty soon (its a huge skating expo/competition up in vancouver). so i’m gonna take off, but i’m gonna reiterate mikey here by suggesting zero 7’s new album to everyone “Simple things” their single on it right now is destiny, which is a very beautiful song, and it has a really cool video too, but really, the whoel album is really solid i think. its just well produced trip hop stuff, good music for chilling to. time to head to the great white north….hopefully no knife wielding canadians will greet me…

my god, i am unmotivated….i need some physical outlet here, something….anything…..I CAN’T DO ANYTHING AEROBIC THOUGH…..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ok, time to distract myself

ahhhh, nothing really to do today, its great, i haven’t had an entire afternoon off in a long time, i forget how nice it is. unfortunatly i re-injured my knee, cliff jumping of all things…

so i’ll be out for a couple more months now, we’ll see, i don’t know, maybe i’ll need surgury, maybe i won’t, my dad says it ruined his knee, and i bet it did, but i also think that medical science has probably come a long way since the 70’s and maybe it would be the best and fastest way to recover, still don’t know yet though.

all i can do this week is crutch around, kinda, i gave myself some gnarly blisters from those damn things, making them impossible to use

what can i say, i’m fucked

so my tests went allright, i’ve just been too burned out to write bloggers, all i’ve been doing is chilling. but yeah, it has been beautiful, and i have spent the past two days, relaxing, lying in the sun, and reading.

but anyways all i have to say is that The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand is the most inspiring, and well written book i have ever read, and everyone should read it as a favor to themselves

man, i haven’t blogged in over a week….mostly cause i’ve been damn busy this week. today has been the pinnacle of the suckiness, where i have 3 tests today. math and chem went fine, and in a half hour i have my bio test. that and two lab writeups this week and other homework has kept me at the library most of this week.sigh…..so soon it will all be over and then i will have freedom, no pressing engagements, and a free weekend ahead of me. oh well guess i better review, can’t get caught up in the weekend…..yet……

dammit dammit dammit. i had a math quiz this morning, and i thought i knew the stuff that might be on it, but as usual with anything i go into without any real idea of what’s going to be on there, i go in very unconfidently of course. in fact when i think about it, i go into everytest lately thinking “well, what the hell is he goign to throw at me this time?” i feel like it always hasn’t been like this. i remember going into most tests, thinking “well i can pretty much expect what’s going to be on this test” but after being jerked around so much latley, i just can’t trust myself anymore. teachers are crafty, and will and try and pull anything on you to make sure that you understand everything that they’ve been teaching.

the problem is with most of them, that they’re throwing all these application problems in that screw everything up. i don’t know, it takes longer for stuff to absorb into me, even if i do a million examples and read and all that stuff. it just takews longer to absorb information, so i confuse thigns, because i have a pretty good understanding of the material, but i don’t have a complete one because it just takes time to absorb it and turn it over in your head to figure out what it actually is you’re doing. you can understand a math problem pretty well but when you throw in a few unit changes, and other mathematical rules, it just seems like that you lose track of things and confuse yourself easily. not to mention that you’re in a testing environment where you have tiem constraints and a completley silent room full of people that are doing hte same thing.

but yeah, this quiz, i had that feeling that i had done it wrong as soon as i handed it in. the quiz told me to draw an antiderivative based on the graph of the derivative that was given to me, and i drew the thing right, i know that, but i didn’t pay attention to the freaking values, i just forgot completley. and then as soon as i handed it in and looked at the overhead on the wall again, i realized that i had completley forgotten that there were indeed boundaries, and i couldn’t just put the graph wherever i pleased.

this is my problem with testing. its not like i don’t know the stuff, its just that there’s too much to keep track of, and i accidentlally forget a step or whatever, and get the whole thing wrong. this is where the teacher comes in. i mean, i drew the graph correct, but i didn’t put it int he right spot. so depending on the teacher i could get 4 out of 5 or 1 out of 5. i mean, this is the difference between getting a 6 out of 10 on a quiz, or a 9 out of 10. one is a D, the other is an A. i mean, and its all up to the damn teacher.

so does it mean that i don’t know this stuff just cause i got confused or something? there’s always like 3 or 4 mistakes on a test that i get back that are just like “how could i have thought that was right when i was working it out?” and i don’t know how to answer it.

but fuck it, its just a quiz, even if i get 6 out of 10 on it, that’s not a real significant part of my grade, but shit, i just realized today that i have my first chemistry test friday after this one, same as my first math test. man….

and its beautiful, i’m all ready for my bio lab, and i think i’ll get my swim out of the wy now, so i can just go home tonight and do whatever, cause i won’t hae any homework tonight….although there’s always some to do, it can just be put off…

wow….what a beautiful sunset….

what the hell? its really beautiful when i go to class at 9 am, and then it is already cloudy before i even get out of my first class. i then go for a swim and it is cloudy, and as soon as i step out of the gym, it proceeds to be bright and beautiful again. this elusive good weather…i bet it’ll rain in a few hours.

school school school, i just go there. i figure all the time i’m going to class, i should just be reading in the library, cause more than likley, i can learn enough out of the book. i figure just reading will keep my brain active enough….but i guess then i wouldn’t know what was on the tests. and since basically testing is the only form of evaluation, i would be shooting myself in the foot. there really has to be a better way to gauge your learning and proficiency in a subject than 2 tests. i mean, if you turn in all the homework and labs and do all the quizzes, that’s about 30% of your grade. the other 70% is mostly 2 tests and a final.70% of your grade depends on 3 days of the class. i really think that’s pretty rediculous.

but yeah reading, i have become more of a voracious reader than i have been in a long time. days back in high school when i would fall asleep everynight reading a book. i remember always waking up in he middle of the night with my reading light blasting in my face, my book on the floor, and drool all over me. now that basically has been replaced by the library here, minus the reading light though. i finished of mice and men yesterday and that was really a good book, i swear i almost cried when i got to the end, the metaphor was just so powerful that it took me completley off guard. but yeah, i picked up another bulkier book this time (i’ve mostly been reading short stories or novels, the kind that are barley 200 pages or something) called The Fountainhead. i really hadn’t heard much about it at all, just that a bunch of people on the internet seemed to reccommend it, and i started reading it today, and went through a 7th of it (100 pages) and this book is really good too. its one of those books that seem to put things in perspective for a bit, like after you finish reading it for an hour or so, you walk around kinda aloof, still digesting everything that you just took in, but at the same tiem you feel really good and happy. i don’t know how to explain it, its just that kind of book.

oh man, i went to the greatest resturant tonight. (i love it when my parents come up). we went to a place called the kyoto steakhouse, where they have the hibachi’s right in the middle of the table, so you get your own personal cook who whips up all your food in front of you. and not only was it some of the best food i’ve had in awhile, but the cooks are completley rad. this guy was throwing around his spatula and his meat poker thing like they were toys, he was just flinging them all over the place, it was great. my favorite move was when he flung spun an egg on the hibachi, flung it up almost to the ceiling, then caught it on the back of the spatula. then while the egg was still spinning, he threw the egg back up again and turned his spatula sideways and let the egg fall on it, splitting the shell in half and leaving the egg perfect on the hibachi. it was relaly impressive to say the least. not too expensive either, considering how good the food was and how much they gave you (it ended up being about 15 bucks for me).

but i am ruined now, cause i stuffed myself full, then thought it would be a great idea to go swimming after that, and i didn’t cramp up or anything, but i was definatly not in top form, and it was much more tiring, cause all that blood that’s supposed to be delivering nutrients and oxygen to my muscles was off trying to digest the first meat i’ve probably had in a week. so i am pretty tired right now…i should probably do some hw or something…

but yeah before i do that, i had one more thing i just thought of, i know most of you reading this have heard me going on about the avalanches and everything, but i don’t think anyone really digs them as much as i do. regardless, this is my blogger and i’ll damn well write about whatever the hell i want. but yeah, i noticed that most of the tiem i have a cd that i listen to alot for a bit, and this is one of those guys, but the one thing that was different was that the songs i get stuck in my head with this cd aren’t the ones i like the best, they’re the ones that i listened to last before i turned off my cd player. this caught me off gaurd today, cause most of the albums that i’ll listen too have a few songs that just shine above the rest, and i would listen to those ones more than the other tracks. this one also has ones that shine above the rest as well, but i still just listen it throguh everytime, and even the ones that i don’t think are teh greatest still stick in my head after listening. its interesting to me….