i’ve noticed latley that i can either keep a blogger, or i can keep a journal. it seems like its impossible to keep both running. i mean, its hard enough for me to do even one of them, but i flipped through my journal, and i looked through my blogger, and i noticed why it was difficult to keep both of them going. the subject matter in them is very very different. while i’ll admit i don’t censor my stuff in blogger too much, its just that the stuff in the journal is way more introspective. its not like i mind sharing stuff too much, but most of the stuff int he journal is random, scattered….bascially me just thinking on paper. i know my blogs aren’t that structured, but i do put a little thought into them so that they read in a coherent fashion. so i kinda got down to the point where i realized that i’ll do one more than the other depending on my mood.

so basically, i think that if i don’t blog for about a week or so, either

a. i’m desperatly tryign to figure out some aspect of my life by scratchign things down on paper, hoping that it can somehow bring me the revelations i need, or

b. the internet, or blogger.com is fucked up

could be either one….

ahhhh, just missed the downpour, managed to make it safley home before the torrential downpour…phew. hmmm actually its not like it would have really mattered, its not like my house is that far from school. its just that i am stupid and don’t wear a parka or anything, just a fleece. and for low rain purposes, that is fine, its not like the fleece gets soaked easily. but now….i would have come int he house like i had just stepped out of the shower. which would have been rad i guess, i could have walked around and given everyone a big hug.

but yeah, i was about to put on some music, when i glanced out the window for a second and decided that i would rather just open my window and listen to the rain. because i mean, i listen to music when i go to school. there is constantly music playing around the house when people are up. i really do think that music is a beautiful, wonderful thing, but how often do i actually sit in a silent place? i’ve noticed that its less and less often today. i noticed that today swimming. when i go running, i can listen to music and think about whatever i want to, becasue its just automatic response to run. you don’t have to think, you just kinda go. with swimming, all i can think about is how many strokes until my next breath, how many till the end of the pool, what lap i’m on, etc. with the amount of focus that i have to put into it, the time does go alot faster, and i don’t really get that tired. but i knida miss the time to be contemplative…but maybe it doesn’t relaly matter. i’ll probably have to give it a few weeks to find out. i definatly think i’ll incorporate some swimming into my regimene even when i can start running again. otherwise, running everyday will be murder on my knee…

whoa….silence in the house is kinda cool, i’m gonna enjoy this before i do my homework

i hate when you blog and it shows up on your “edit your blog” page, but then it doesn’t actually go to your page, man that’s stupid

man, this whole spring forward thing…i mean, its cool and all that its light out now, i mean, pretty soon the sun will be setting around 9 or something. it doesn’t seem like too long ago that it was getting dark at 4 pm everyday. its sooo much nicer though cause it goes along with my more nocturnal clock, cause i do like to do things outside, its just that normally i can’t get myself going early enough to really enjoy a full day. but actually when i think more about this, it mostly takes eveyone else i’m going to do stuff with longer. i think proportionally the more peopel that you have to get motivated to go do something, the much longer it takes, but inherently, the more fun it can be. i mean, i know i have alot more fun going with like 6 or 7 friends to go play ultimate frisbee is more fun than running or swimming or biking, which most of the time is just going outside to do something outside. but at the same time, it takes like an extra hour or so to get to the point where you can line up everyone’s schedules and get everyone out there. which is allright sometimes, but damn, when its a beautiful day out, and i’ve been at school all day, i don’t want to sit around and wait for people, i want to get outside and do something NOW. which is why i like running so much. i mean, its great to be able to go outside and just do it at your own pace, think about whatever you want to, and rock out to some music while doing it. after all of the sitting around in school, i don’t want to come home and wait around some more before i go outside, i want to eat a snack and just get out there and do it dammit. but yeah, enough griping about that i think…

i picked up and read farenheit 451 a few days ago. it only took me a few hours to read, cause it is a novel for ray bradbury, considerign his short stories, but it still is only like 170 pages or something…but yeah, i knew that it was one of those classic books that they make you read in high school and stuff (which more than a few people commented to me)and i really enjoyed it. i mean, it’s one of those books that you realize why they assign it to high school reading. granted it probably would have sucked all the life out of it if i was forced to write a few papers about it or discuss it with a class or something. but what was kinda disturbing to me was when i was reading it, i mostly read it outside cause it was such a nice day outside, and basically this is how it went with everyone i knew who came up to me:

“hey, what’s up, what are you reading?”

“farenheit 451”

“are you reading it for a class?”

“no”

“then why are you reading it?”

and that’s what was distressing to me, the fact that most people that i know read only when they have to, and don’t really derive any pleasure from it. its not like i think that people who don’t read for pleasure are depriving themselves or stupid or antyhing, its just when they get to the point that they think that reading is worthless, hence the “then why are you reading it?”. i don’t know, i guess it does kinda bother me that i can’t relaly think of anyone off the top of my head that reads for pleasure, but its not that bad i guess. people get busy priorities get rearranged and whatnot. its just a shame i think…

but yah, i think i’m gonna do alittle homework here…cause if i don’t do it now, i’ll end up being dragged to the bars without it finished, i need some water too, swimming relaly sucks all the moisture out of you, instead of that sweaty drenched feeling you get after running, your skin feels relaly dry after swimming, its kinda funny to me

blog blog blog….man, i haven’t really blogged in awhile, and i’m bored so i might as well do somethign semi productive i guess…arrrgh, ok so i saw the doctor yesterday, and now i gotta go see an orthopedic surgeon on monday, and i also have to start doing physical therapy on monday as well. man, this is gonna be a much longer road to recovery than i thought…

well the house is spotless again, cause whenever i get bored on the weekends (which has been alot more, since i can’t really do anythign active) i clean this place up. so now that i’ve spent time doing that, i relaly don’t have anythign to do, which is why i’m here i guess. i’m distracted though, cause now people are starting to talk to me, and i really do want to blog. but yeah, what was i thinking about while i was outside? oh yeah, about last night, man apparently i got pretty fucked, we were drinking alot of 100 proof vodka, and i probably overdid it as usual. i blacked out sometime around 2 in the morning or something, and that’s only like the second time i’ve blacked out. bah, i guess i couldn’t really talk or anything, it must have been pretty funny.

other thought i had outside was about the flowers that were blooming outside. i mean, flowering plants are a pretty crazy deal. for them to reproduce they have to depend on sheer random chance to get fertilized. they either have to have wind blow the male pollen to the female flower or it has to be carried by an insect. and even though this is a very chaotic and random system, flowers and pretty much any flowering plant has managed to flourish incredibly. i mean, if we wiped out insects, then there would be a huge decreses in flowering plants. the frequency of pollenation would go down so much that it would probably slowly kill them out. i mean, its very survival depends on something else being around. i guess that it makes sense though, i mean if you take away water or sunlight too, they’ll die out or whatever. its just wierd to integrate another animal into all the other basic neceities for survival. everything surviving on this planet has a balance that stems from everything else, i guess that’s what i was thinking about mostly, that everything kinda leans up against everything else to survive, and if enough supports are taken out, then you can’t really stay standing anymore. its just wierd to me that flowers would evolve in such a way…passive impregnation versus active. anywas, now i think i’m just rambling, but whatever, i think i’m just too easily distractable right now.

bah, i don’t want to get drunk tonight, but i know i will, cause i won’t have anything better to do and we still have alcohol left. bah

bah, i really gotta take it easy, i thought that maybe i could take a beginning soccer course this quarter, but there is a no can do on that one, and i’m seeing the doctor later today….finally. man it has been so gorgeous out latley, i would really like to write some more, cause i’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff that i could write about, but i think i’m gonna go outside and look at girls in red square instead (ahhh, the beauty of spring)

oh man….i finally got my ass out today after about 3 weeks of doing nothing strenuous. not only am i relieved that i didn’t hurt my knee or anything, but also that i managed to kick so much ass after taking so much time off. i rode my dad’s rickety bike on the slough trail to woodinville, and then took woodinville duvall to avondale and made it back home in an hour and 10 minutes. i know it is mostly flat, but i thinki had so much pent up energy that i just blew out as much as i could. man, that was beautiful. i swear, everytime i go riding, its theraputic for me, it helps me get my cravings for speed and getting outdoors out of the way, but also lets me think and listen to music and basically float off into my own little world. i don’t know how i ever got along before i started doing things outside…but yeah, i still have alot i want to write, but i think i’ll do it later tonight, i gots easter dinner to head off too.

so yeah, tonight was interesting…but in a good way mostly tonight.lots of hanging around jakub and his buds needless to say we did alot of recreationak things. oh well, think i;m goona try and ho rto sleep

man, i have not blogged in forever, but i guess some fun stuff has happened since the last time i did, i mean, it has been spring break.

first off, i went and saw ben folds which was pretty damn great, cause it was just him on the piano, and no backup band. i did end up seeing a very chus individual that i knew from elementary school and he goes up here to western and he is pretty much a tool. and seeing him being such an avid ben folds fan almost cheapened the whole experience for me. for a little bit it did. but i got over it. those superfans are really wierd to me, being ultimatly dedicated to a single person or band like they are. people that memorize all these stats about the band, etc, etc. i mean, i really do like ben folds’s music alot. but these morons who are superfans are just looking to prove that they’re like the #1 fan, that no one could possibly know more than them ablout it, therefore making you a more inferior fan.people like that are just a mystery to me, its like once you start getting into all the trivial details, it just cheapens the music to me. all these people who claim to be superfans and whatnot, i feel like they’re missing something from the music. its like instead of appreciating the music and the artist, it turns into a competetion, like people who don’t know what the bassists birthday is shouldn’t be able to listen to the music in the first place, and obviously can’t appreciate it. blagh…those people made me pretty angry at the concert…ben did a good job of getting the crowd involved and shit though, and i think that it was better than seeing him with built to spill, even though that was rockin’ too. still can’t beat out the energy of ben folds five though, i don’t think i’ll ever see a show that good again. it was also fun being there with my bro though, and eric. only eric and i had main floor tickets, and my brother had to sit int he balcony, so when eric and i got in, i took eric’s tiket stub and took it up to my brother onthe balcony, and snuck him in that way. i thought that was pretty slick anyways…but it rocked, and i had a good time, god i love ben folds…

next few nights involve scott and a few of his roomates coming up from cali on their roadtrip. and whenever i meet up witht hese guys, it’s craziness. we chilled in redmond the first night ended up hanging around with those guys and alyson.

…

yeah, so anyways…

got back that nigth and it was mikey’s birthday, which meant that it was time to get him completley trashed, like hella trashed. so anyways, the greatest thing was that i didn’t even get there in time to buy him a drink. as soon as adam and i walked intot he royal (the local ghetto dance club/bar, where all the hos congregate) mikey was already getting kicked out. we walked up to him as he stumbled out of the bathroom and he fell against the wall, and yelled “I NEED SLUTTY VAG!!!” with a bouncer looking right over hsi shoulder. so needless to say, his 4 dollar bribe wasn’t cutting it and he had to be escorted out. it was rad. but yeah, he was completley ruined, and we dragged him home, and he screamed at everyone, at one point in the night, he had called one of his friends that his girlfriend was a slut. he then proceeded to high five the boyfriend. it was hilarious. and latley we just been drinking and chillin’. its so nice to be able to go to bars and just buy 3.50 pitchers of PBR and just get sluttly off of like 2 of those, and sit around and bullshit with your friends.

i checked my finals, and my hardwork paid off, so i’m very pleased about that, and now i’m gonna go see the time machine (for free, thank god) so i wanted to write more, but i gotta go…oh well, i’ll probably write more tonight or something…hopefully, i want to just spend some time and write my thoughts down, haven’t done that in awhile….

wow….

school got cancelled today, like for the first time since the blizzard of ’72. it actually is pretty bad out there, and now that i think about it in retrospect, i’m glad that i kinda just skimmed the chapters instead of doing all the online stuff for the test i was plannign to do today. but since there is no school…i wonder what the hell they’re going to do for finals now that they missed a day. i mean, they can’t do it tomrrow, cause either there might still be snow on the ground, or the fact that there are still finals tomrrow will just be too much of a headache for them to deal with. maybe they’ll just drop the fainl and take the grade that you have right now for the class. that would probably suck for alot of people though, and many would complain i’m sure.

bah, whatever, ben folds tongiht….if i can get down to redmond that is, i really hope that my final isn’t tomrrow night or something…

but yeah, it dumped good, like a good 4 or 5 inches overnight, i thought that it wasn’t goign to stick, cause the ground was pretty wet, but that wetness on the ground just turned into ice underneath the snow, which i guess is pretty rad. i was supposed to see the on-campus doctor about my knee today too, but no more, since apparently they’er closed. ah well, i’m sure my knee is allright. but, its time to go play soem vids or something, so peace out.