slowly i get drawn in, but i can already feel the pull…

of course, i talk of anime in this sense. i’ve never really watched it before, but the more i watch, the better it is. every series i watch just has some great aspect abou tit, and it’s easy to get sucked in. i don’t know how to explain it, it’s just awesome. the drawing styles, the music, the stories, they’re all absolutly rediculous. and the fact that everything is so rediculous i think is what lures me to them. rediculouscity. more and more, i am drawn to the rediculous. and the more and more i look at anything, the more rediculous it seems. at least there’s one thing that i can say about life, everything about it is rediculous. living organisims are rediculous things in themselves, but living organisims aware of themselves? who the hell’s in charge of this shit anyways?

Ryan’s Psuedo-Science Corner:

as i sat down to dinner tonight, i had a fabulous thai meal that my dad had made. and god it was good, like really good. and i was just thinking about how some food could taste so much better to usthan others. and what kind of purpose we could possibly have for being able to differentiate between them. it sent me down the path that it has to be something related to the enrgy content of the food. since your body is just looking for the most energy it can get and hold on to, you would want to eat more things that taste good so that you’ll have more energy later. (i think this is kinda along the lines of why sex is so great, cause if it felt like your dick was getting hit by a hammer everytime you came, you aren’t going to do it that often.) but then i thought about the fact that that might not be true because technically, most fatty things and meats are like secondary or tertiary products in the scheme of consumers, so technically they shouldn’t have as much useable energy (that’s why you always hear hippies talking about how if we turned all the pasturelands in the world to croplands, we could feed the earth. what the hippies don’t realize is that we live in a real world.) so where does this leave me? i still think it has something to do with energy content, but there must be certain types that are more beneficial than others, hence the good taste. although i still have contradictory explanations for the same problem. if i had more drive i could probably find out the exact answer right now, but i figure i’ll learn it eventually, and there’s no real pressing reason to know this right now. it’s just fun to think about things scientifically, even if you are pulling everything out of your ass. hahaha, i’m gonna go throw a title at the top of this, as an after thought. i could probably write alot of pseudo-science corners.

i like that i could be completly off base about this claim i just made. like it could have to do with the tiny particles of goodness that gets sprinkled in them by mother nature or soemthing. i mean, shit, it’s just as valid a claim as mine. everything i type here could be contradictory to something else you may have heard me say at one time, or typed at another time. i probably contradict myself all the time , but i’m me so i can’t hear it. i wonder how many people have gone “uhhh right ryan, like a few days ago you were so on the other end.” it’s kinda funny, almost every conviction i’ve ever had has been altered or eradicated. i mean religion, that was a fun one to grow up with. caring needs to be handled with extreme caution, or an oblivity to life. love is a funny idea. all sorts of crap i may have believed in, has all been changed. i mean, if i’m gonna keep flip flopping all the time, what’s the point of having convictions, especially when i really haven’t had much chance to explore them all. eventually i’ll find some ideas that click with my chemical balancing, making my brain a fully functional gadget. not like it isn’t all fleeting and superfluous anyways. once humans reach any semblance of themselves and are able to take full advantage of their conciousness, they die anyways. yeah, it’s pretty anti-climactic, but it’s fitting when you think about it.

i read mike’s blog and i started thinking about drama, like is it really that bad? considering the society that we live in, if we couldn’t make a difficult situation for ourselves, what the hell would we do? struggle to survive? i know quite a few people who would be closed for business if they didn’t have drama. some people get caught up in drama and they say they don’t like it, but they cycle it, and others see it and get the hell out. but hell, if drama makes you happy, good for you, at least you’re pulling something out of the society that you live in. if it doesn’t make you happy, well, congratulations to you as well, because you’ve found something that suits you better, whatever it is.

i’d liek to give everyone a pat on the back, whoever’s reading this, because if you’re reading it, it means you haven’t died or committed suicide yet, which is your only real way out.

so my advice to everyone is: do whatever the hell you want, and have no regrets about it