i probably shouldn’t have ignored that little writing bug that appeared a couple of nights ago, where the thoughts were fresh in my mind, and ready to spill out, where i could organize them, before the percolated back through my brain matter to be dispersed where the original idea is still there, but all of the implications are not.

it was big, but it was something that was lost. could be found again at some point in time, but it’s not like there’s any hurry. i don’t really have anywhere to be. being blissfully unemployed for a bit is like having a summer vaation from school that doesn’t exsist. i think it might be working out that way because i happen to be unemployed during one of the northwests’ nicest hot streaks. it has been fun, but i feel that it’s about time to start making money again. getting low on funds, need to get back on the working track.

it’s funny though, i’ve had all this free time and haven’t written once. i guess being at work keeps me occupied, but forcing me to be someplace i don’t care if i’m there or not makes my mind wander more easily, because they don’t have the same things that are best at keeping me distracted. my place is a den of thin gs that keep me distracted and i kowtow to them on a daily basis.

i fill my apartment from distractions to keep me from thinking too much, i guess. but it’s not that i don’t want to think, i read regulary, and i enjoy getting a little charge out of stuff that may be thought provoking. it just feels like it doesn’t matter as much anymore, the unknown. it’s out there and you’re somewhere in the middle of it. trying to get your bearings without any tools is taxing, and making the tools is even more so. so you glide and it’s not that different from trying to use tools.

so you go with it.