free my mind!

i guess it wants to be, but it hardly ever knows what is best for it. i need something smooth to wash over me, to let it slide over, fill in the cracks, flush out the crap. too much anger, an i never know what to do with it. irrational anger that would seemingly have no possible outlet, there has to be some reason for it. it makes me want to disappear, and stew in it for a bit. actually, i’d spend it with my dog because she is outside of this system.

i think that is why pets are so beloved, the lack of judgement. the only basis they use to judge you is so simple. if you treat them nicely play with them and feed them then they will judge you as a good person. if you neglect them and mistreat them, then they will judge you as a bad person. it’s just simpler. i like that simplicity. there’s too much complexity in my world.

wtih that complexity comes more complex forms of happiness, but also more complex forms of everything else. i’m already mired in complexity, with no way out, but to maybe drop a few things along my journey. of course when something is offloaded, it leaves more room to pick up some more stuff.

and i just can’t help picking up more shiny objects.