sorry, just my inner self trying to slap the outer representation of myself around, however that works out. in blog world, rules are what you make them.

i mean, here it is my weekend, and i am lost for what to do besides resign myself to the business that will be the rest of it. that’s right, resign yourself to bitterness, it’s what you have to do occasionally, right?

something’s bugging you. what could it be? take a look around and break things down a little more. look at them for what they are, look closer.well huh, imagine that. take a look deeper and what do you see sometimes? unimaginable beauty. but wait, take a look again. huh? what happened? it’s completely devoid of meaning.

can you see? the inherently conjoined dichotomy? what are you going to do about it? what can you do about it? it all exists in the same object, the same idea in your head. existing for you to define, waiting for your validation. the object doesn’t care so much as i crave to bestow my consciousness upon it, to make it a part of my world through my ideas of classification. it seems to work out, for the most part, as well it should. i can’t seem to crack my mind out of that mold, or am afraid to do so for the ramifications that would entail. or just afraid in general, the lines blur when i want them to.

it only makes sense, when i do think about it. i mean, my mind has to rail against it’s surroundings to find any joy in them, right? at least it’s not all one, or all the other, all the time. i’m not ready to truly balance myself yet, but with practice and time, maybe i will be.

the extremes aren’t as extreme as they once were, but i’m still not ready to leave them behind.

i wonder if i ever will, and i smile not-so-inwardly.