only 10 minutes to go, wonder how much i can fit in during that time before i leave, probably not much i suppose, since i normally think out things, maybe i’ll just not think out things and just dump shit onto here, sure, that sounds good.

maybe i can get a long, continuous run on sentance, where i don’t use periods because they aren’t really necesary due to the fact that i can keep rambling and using commas which allow the sentance to continue running in a smooth and orderly fashion, keeping things from making sense to a minimum which in turn keeps me writing and trying to keep things interessting and fluent, so you keep reading this and not really notice that i’ve been using a bunch of commas and probably bad grammer just so i can keep this sentance going.

ok, that was allright, but i couldn’t keep rambling about a freaking sentance for too much longer, i gotta think of a subject so i can write a gigantic run on sentance that no one will read, but at least i’ll know that i created it.

that will be for tomrrow though, for now, i think i’m going home, to enjoy a beautiful day.

beautiful.

well shit, here we go, i changed my format here a little bit with hopes that i might start eventually customizing this shit on my own, it’ll just take a crappy day and nothing to do but sit around on my computer. i finally got my archives working though (thank you wank), so those are finally up. the rest is just gonna kinda be played by ear as i learn html, oh well, i kinda like this simple layout though, wudar.

the sure sign of a high school skank:

A no eariler than 98 honda civic or an acura integra with a rainbow hawaiian lei hanging from their rear view mirror.

is this some kind of strange high school sorority cult, where all these attractive girls take their cars out to some secret meeting place in the middle of the woods and proceed to have whipped cream wrestlign matches that eventually turn into massive lesbian orgies? or is this some sort of callign card that says “hey, i’m looking for a good time, no strings atacthed”? or is it just there cause its trendy and cute? although i would really like to believe that my first guess was correct, i guess the last one probably is. i can still hope though.

good god, i am literally busting at the seams with energy, like i can barley keep myself still, let alone sit here at work and enter data on this fabulously glorious day. for once, i actually wish i spent all day in the field, that way i could spend it ripping plants out of the ground with my hand adz, and just fuck those plants up. i need something gratifying right now, destryoing something satisfying. the kind of destruction where you just flex your muscles and be like “fuck ya, ifucked that shit up” cause if i went and broke windows right now, that wouldn’t do it, i mean, even if i punched through it, it just would have the same satisfaction as taking a baseball bat to a car. or to the side of a house, or anything made out of wood, i think bashing something made out of wood would be great right now. like a wooden bench, i think that would be pretty ideal. a nice, cedar lattice bench that smells like a redwood forest and has a slightly rough, but not unplesant textre and a bright, wood red hue to it. with a nice solid aluminum bat in my hands, i would smash that thing until it was unrecgonizable and then light it on fire. i would then proceed to take the flaming pieces and hit them off of an over pass at oncoming traffic.

the thing is, there’s absolutly no malice in this. i mean, i got nothing against the bench, or i don’t really want to hurt people by making them crash after a flaming piece of cedar lodges itself in the hood of an oncoming car. i just want to do it for the sake of taking something of incredibly structred order, something that has been crafted and at one time planned and thought out, and just reducing it to a state of complete chaos. using these muscles and will of mine to destroy something instead of creating it. to put my work that seems to go to productive causes to something senseless, destructive and counter productive. to break out of a routine where i have to do certain things on certain days and live my days liek they’re on a track, that you can’t deviate from. to put my self forth to a cause instead of working towards producing something, to taking that same energy to destroy it. to completley reduce myself to a mass of emotions that i completley surrender to. a feeling of beautiful surrender where all thinking should eventually lead, a feeling of freedom. freedom through surrendering, almost seems liek an oxymoron. makes sense though.

i feel liek i could run a marathon right now, just walk out the front door and go run 26.1 miles with my pants and work boots on, and just do it. knowing i can run wherever i want to, look at whatever i want to, interpret anythign anyway i want to. this is my fucking world, and i am capable of making my own fucking happiness. and that is an absolutly beautiful thing to me.

take thsi for example, i write whatever i damn well please in here, even though i know its going to be read by other people. i didn’t do this before, but now i do it all the time. i used to write this kind of stuff in my written journal, and its not because ‘m too lazy, but i just got sick of keeping the two apart, writing about daily events in one, and feelings int he other. the two are pretty damn interconnected, so most of the time, i get around to one but not the other. i got nothing better to do at work anyways. fuck it.

my thoughts are too important to conceal.

good lord the beligerence, do i even sound liek me right now? ummmm………..

hell yeah i do.

i am a god plated in tin foil and baked accordingly, which means until done.

bring hither yon objects of desire that i crave, but cannot name.

i am WAY to esoteric for anyone or anything. and by WAY, i mean WAY.

oh man, beligerent destruction is metamorphisizing to beligerent randomness. funny how work always does that to me. oh don’t get me wrong, i still want that aluminum baseball bat and cedar lattice bench. man that would still be pretty sweet. and the lighting on fire and hitting is just genius, i think.

so is the idea of a movie called XXX. good lord, i saw a scene on leno the other ngiht where vin diesel shoots a harpoon gun at a hovercraft from a moving car, spits out some great tough guy line, and pulls a ripcord that deploys a parachute that looks like an american flag, and proceeds to paraglide behind it. good god, cater to my mindless action craving needs, this is going to be the greatest rediculous movie ever.

september 17th is surgury day. then i get to sit around for a week on this machine that moves my leg for me. a machine that moves my leg for me? does life get any sweeter? well maybe being able to do things like play basketball, sprint, play ultimate frisbee, soccer, cliff jumping, etc, and all the million other things that i’ve missed out on cause of my gimpy knee. my knee is hated.

so i’m going to cirque du soleil tongiht, that should be fun, family and all. my dad’s pretty excited abou this, and my dad never gets excited about shows, especially ones he has to pay 75 bucks a ticket for. should be rad. got tickets for area 2 as well, going with a bunch of seattle people, if they buy tickets too. oh well, it’ll just be rad.

I am rad.

You are rad.

Life is rad

Wudar.

ok this is rediculous, i clean up my hard drive every other day, i got way too much porn to keep track of, its time for a break and some cleaning, jesus i just need a break, i really need to stop treating this porn downloading thing like a job.

most people would say that monday is perhaps the worst day of the week. i mean, you have to come back to reality, right?

this i beg to differ on, i haven’t even experienced tuesday yet, but i know its going to be even longer than today. and today has been long, don’t get me wrong, but tuesday is the ass day of the week. farthest from either end of the weekend, only bringing hatred and death. tuesday is one of those days where it doesn’t matter how much sleep you get be it 4 hours or 12, you’re still gonna be tired the next morning, and contempleting the thought of suicide and getting to sleep for the rest of eternity.

of course its not that bad at all, but i think that blowing things out of proportion gives new meaning to my life, which is the horrible exsistance that ryan driscoll deserves to live in. obviously since my life is quiet and boring, much to match my own disposition, i spice things up by embellishing. it gives me the self importance and the ability to go on that i desperatly need in my life. if i couldn’t embellish then i couldn’t impress people, and well, if i couldn’t impress people, well i might as well not exsist, because existing for the sake of exsistance is something that even the bible says is wrong.

“idle hands are the devil’s workshop”

so damn, i just figured out everything there is to know about my life, and since i already have the meaning down pat, i might as well just damn myself and everyone else, since now that i have all the answers i can be bitter about it and persecute everyone else who hasn’t reached the same plateau that i believe i’ve hit. i love my plateau. only i can occupy it, and its all mine. other people only wish they could understand and feel the level of happiness that i have reached, sucks for all you guys.

so i stick my proverbeal tounge out at all of you, for i am the master of all creation and those who don’t live in my world shall perish by my seering eyes and holier-than-thou attitude and accusations.

i love america more than i love myself.

peace

thursday….week is almost over…so close to another weekend

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! hahaha, chris is so rad, he decided to drive down here from seattle and since i gave vauge directions, he ended up driving around seattle for a half hour or so, my bad. it was rad though cause he drove all the way down to get cash from me for a deposit on our new house, which we just got, so we had to start paying for IMMEDIATLY. blood suckers….giving us less than a day to get our shit together….oh well, such is renting in a college town i suppose

SHIBBY!!!

i get to go home for the next few hours or so, and chill with the parental units, and partake in their food. this is rad.

shit, its august already, that means its only like 2 months left till school. this blows.

oh yeah, i meant to talk about massive, which was the latter half of my weekend. it was a rad experience, trying to set up stuff. i got there with mikey and scott, and we were just kinda directed down to the main floor of naf to help set up decorations. our supplies? a couplke bags of balloons, a couple bags of streamers, and a whole lotta flyers. there was also a lack of tape and staples, and everytime we put something up we were told to take it back down. it was so very rad, because the chaos that was involved with this was just funny. we got all our shit done though, and it didn’t look horrible…

so basically scott and i got pretty drunk before we weren’t allowed to go in and out as we pleased, so i pounded 2/3 a fifth and scott got about half of another. man, getting drunk and going in to dance to drum and bass and pounding techno is one of the greatest things ever. i have alot of fun dancing anyways, but when i’m drunk, you’d have to hit me with a a sledgehammer to knock the smile off of my face. but i got to wander around and talk to some bellingham people and some redmond people, and the people that you only see at raves, or “rave-buddies”. but around 3 or so, i don’t quite remember how i ended up there but mikey, scott and i ran the water stand form then till close, and that was a fun experience too, cause i could sit there and help for a bit, then wander off for 10 minutes or so and come back and help more. i’d have to say that this was the first party i’ve been too where i totally lost track of time, i was having so much fun, it was a great party, props to jakub and justin.

and the next day was spent being sore. bling bling.

well, the clock says 3, so its time to check outta this place

kerdunkle.

i like that word.

is this the week that didn’t exsist?

i’ve been slightly confused by this week as of so far. everything seems unreal and distant. well not so much distant as detatched. like everything, my family, my job, my friends, its like i feel like i don’t fit in with anything right now. and its not like i’m freaking out about it or anything, but it just makes things wierd this week.

i guess i kinda feel like some puppet that is just kinda going throught the motions this week, but i don’t really want to deal with any of it, no matter what it is. but then again, if i had a choice about how to make this feeling go away, i wouldn’t know what to substitute it with, i don’t even know what brought it on.

hmmm, that’s odd, nothing brought it on, so i suppose nothing will take it away. that’s a funny statement, because if nothing can take it away, then it will never leave, but i know it will go away, so something’s gotta take it away, but since i don’t know how to identify what it is, it’ll seem like nothing to me. that’s some cracked out shit. or i’d like to think it is.

good god, i haven’t blogged since the weekend, which was rad. friday was alot of wine drinking, and then going to see goldmember with a bunch of people. i swear, if you turn off my brain for even just a asecond, it decides its time to catch up on sleep and let my body rest. so you get me drunk, sit me in a adark, warm theater, and what do you get? me wasting 8 bucks on a movie, cause i can’t remember a shred of it. so although there was that period of passing out for an hour and a half during the movie, getting there and leaving was pretty damn hilarious. all i can say is that matt is perhaps the GREATEST buffoon ever. not only did he at one time jump up on a counter at hollywood video and pull his pants down in front of some unsuspecting female employee, he also stands in line for austin powers, talking very loudly about sluts, while there are lots of girls around. matt, i love you.

but yeah, saturday was busy, with going to the mariners game which was a blast. mikey, dan, brandy, and i sat around right field so brandy got to stare at ichiro’s ass all game, and we just got drunk and acted like complete buffoons the entire game. i can now say that i am truly a man cause i got drunk at a baseball game, and made an ass out of myself, with no regrets. it was one of the best baseball games i’ve gone to.

and the massive, was indeed massive, but i gotta go home now, so i’ll write about that soon…hopefully.

life is surreal.

i was about to suggest leaving work, but then i saw ben blogging, and i though that i might as well. i haven’t really thought anything through to write a out, not like i think i ever do….

its friday and its beautiful, during school i kinda looked forward tot he weekends, but now that i’m working, i REALLY look forward to them. even if most of the time all i do is end up sitting on my ass, but there’s nothing wrong with that. actually this weekend’s gonna be kinda busy with mariner games and jakub’s party. so i’m probably gonna be even more tired for work next week, but it will be rad.

hmmm, its funny, i don’t feel like i have anything insightful to say right now, normally i have something to talk about, but i’m just in one of those moods where i don’t want to think. it might be the work atmosphere, but i really haven’t been concerning myself with anything more than the next 5 minutes ahead of me. in the next 5 minutes, i’m guessing i’m gonna be out the door and on my way to safeway to buy wine.

buy wine.

drink wine.

slurp it down.

mm mm good.

puke.

is that the way its supposed to go? i remember vaugly going to blanchard one night after talking to the box of franzia more than a few times, and the drive made me sick. and i was ridiculed by adam and jakub, as i rightly deserved. wine, just drink it.

cripes! my head! it can’t decide which way it wants to go. too much bodily energy to have my mind focus on anything.

dumbass me

hurts his knee

jumped like a flea

landed stupidly

writhing on the ground in agony

actually it wasn’t that bad, i mean i could walk about a minute afterwards, and i didn’t even do antyhing that stupid. i’m sick of this knee. i’ve been slaving over it for the past 3 months now with physical therapy and it still as unstable as ever. i think its about time my body went on strike from my knee. dammit knee! if i’m gonna treat you so good, you better get better! but nooooooo, you don’t want to get any better so now its time for correctional surgery. time for the knife, knee! see how you like being cut and drilled and reattached, it’s your own damn fault!

tenses are funny, i could switch my tense mid-sentance and suddenly i’m there, beliving in jesus the man who saved us all from the rapture of evil dogs such as myself who keep trying to climb houses up their northside when obviously its the southside is the one to traverse. but when trying this you have to make sure to keep your pimp hand strong, lest ye fall to certain enlightenment. at which point you can sit around, point at all the funny elves and say “weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”. this makes the elves mad though so they widen their eyes and run in circles screaming about the injustice of the poor baby calfs in new zealand. what calfs they speak of, we shall never know, but it gets you thinking about your full frontal assault of needles on the roof of a speeding train, which is just bad in general, so you push it out of your head. but it falls tot he ground and shatters into a million pieces leaving you with a million splinters in your pinky toe. the pain is so unbearable and pleasant that you run around screaming at the top of your lungs with joy. this calls the god of hunting though, cause obviously only hunters can exact that same scream of shameful pain and shameful joy. he’ll ask “what seems to be the kerdunkle?” to which you reply “my gopher left me!” and he replies “it was because you were insensitive and analized things too much, and besides, you’re a total jackoff” to which you reply “oh, i always thought of myself as more of a gomer, as opposed to a jack off”

GOOD GOD MAN, GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!

keep them in line, or they take over your brain stem, which could be a good or bad thing depending on what type of star you look at first when you look up at the sky at noon. most people only see the sun, but they realize that after they see the sun, they can close their eyes and see a bunch of stars. depending on which of those stars you see first, will determine your course in life. its a rip rolling, out of control roller coaster ride and the brakeman decieded that he’d rather go shoot pool with his dogs than sit around pulling a brake lever all day. and i don’t blame him, he has his priorities straight. i mean, dogs that can play pool? i’m so there with a bag of cherries, cause pool playing dogs like cherries. what’s that? you don’t like cherries? WELL TOO BAD! its not your choice to let the dogs know if they like cherries or not, its their own stupid choice. they mostly end up spitting the pits back at you too and bark delightedly, with glee as well. so maybe i won’t do that. maybe i’ll have a nice frosty glass of beer instead, but to procure this beer takes alot of work like the removing of hands from plastic and the movement of feet upon woven cotton and various plastic and stone, and a million other carbon based walking surfaces that this world produces.

goddamn, i could go on like this for awhile, i should stop though, cause really i want to get home from work….

or do i?

sit, stare, sit, stare, then sit and stare some more. good god, today seems unreal after last night. i ate some gnarly pizza and ended up unable to sleep all last night and most of today cause i was too busy reeling in agonizing pain as i sat on the toilet. right now, its not funny cause i’m still woozy, and a bit drained from all this work my immune system needs to do. so here i sti at work, not getting much done, but getting more than’s expected of me, which is pretty funny cause its close to nothing. the expectations here are rediculous. i look around at my co-workers, and they have projects and stuff is expected of them. the things that are expected of them are rediculous, the amount of work and coordination they have to do is way too much for a couple of people. but me? nothing is expected of me, and i only give them slightly more than that. my job is rad, food poisoning is not. wudar